Sharing Joy

Several years ago I met a man who told me about his wife,  who was living in a nursing home and living with dementia. He was so very sad.  

“When I visit her, she knows who I am.  She kisses me and tells me she loves me.  When I look in her eyes there is nothing there and I leave in tears.”

I wondered.  Why could he not see what I most likely would have?  A woman with something to say.

If your relationship with your loved one is defined by sadness and loss, that is all you can see, all you can hear, all you can feel.  But if you can share a  moment of happiness, it changes.  You can see and enjoy the person who is still there.

It can be so simple – like Mom’s first painting, or looking at the view, a sunset, taking a walk together.  You can listen to the music she once loved (and probably still does)  and see her face light up with delight.  Or sing.  With Mom, I would begin a song and she would join.  If she didn’t know the words, we would sing the melody together.

At each moment, we were sharing joy and each other.  I hope I can age like Mom, living a life abundant with love, purpose, and friends, fascinated by the world, curious about the future, and filled with laughter—focusing on the positive, accepting the inevitable and enjoying the ride.