I grew up in the shadow of Alzheimer’s. Nearly everyone in Dad’s family and many in Mom’s developed the disease. Mom warned us. “Keep your distance. Your father and I will be in a safe place; there is nothing more you can do, so walk away. We won’t remember you, so live your life and don’t sacrifice it for us.” I believed her.
As I began my caregiver journey with Mom, I saw only loss, not the person, heard only confusion, not the thoughts. Everything changed in an instant.
Mom began to paint. Everything changed.
Her art invited me in—past the fear, confounding everything I thought I knew or had been taught about Alzheimer’s. Clearly here was a mind at work—not an empty shell lost in the fog but a joyful and creative person, with a life to live, filled with possibility. I learned the first important care partner lesson: I learned to let go of the woman I felt she used to be, embracing instead the wonderful woman who was with me in the moment; not suffering from dementia, but living with it.
Don't Walk Away 